Over 21 hours

So I have just passed 21 hours without the slightest hint of a cigarette. I must say I am rather pleased with myself.

At times it has been very easy. I have sailed through without a second thought. Then at other times I feel these fingers within my soul scratching away. Clawing, trying to hold on to something.

I see myself trying to stretch out and reach that joyful white tube that has bought me so much pleasure in the past. Yet I know that I will never be able to pick it up. I just won't let myself.

What was once enjoyed and treasured as five minutes of solace is now recognised for what it truly is. A cancer giving stick full of poisons and toxins that will slowly steal my life away from me. If I let it, which I won't.

I would like to go to bed early tonight, put an end to this long draining day. However I have work to do. Some paid, some on myself. I have years of bad habits to break and replace.